Decisiveness

One of the most intriguing decisions to make is when your response is going to alter your life. A more intriguing decision to make is one that you have to continually choose that will alter your life. Not only is that decision intriguing, but it is often difficult. Our nature is to put ourselves in such comfortable positions so that we won't have to make the hard choices that may jeopardize our comfort. For 18 years I lived a very comfortable life. Any difficult decision that I had to make that would possibly turn my world upside down I refused to make. I like the fact that I wasn't challenged past what I wanted to.

Life as I knew it came to a screeching halt one day when I decided that I was going to make a decision that would alter my life completely. It was a decision that seemed foolish to some, but to others it was a decision of life. I was questioned about whether or not what I was doing was "logical". I was called wrong for my decision. Then there was the other side, there was the side who came along side me and encouraged me. This was the same side that didn't see this as a simply "illogical" decision, but a decision that would lead me on a path that would be filled with highs and lows (and I do mean lows), but would ultimately give me such an adventure, such a thrill of life and honestly life itself.
I thought that once I made that decision everything would be different. I thought the confusing things in life would be figured out, and I thought that hard things in life would become easier. What I found out was that the confusing things got more confusing, and the difficult things got more difficult. As that happened I began to go back on my decision, I wanted to revert to what I thought was the more comfortable time, the easier times. As I reverted I soon discovered that the farther I put myself away from my decision the less...alive I felt. When I made the decision and went after it, although things were hard, it was honestly the most rewarding time of my life. I don't think alive is a cliche word here. When I say alive that is how I felt. Imagine standing on top of a tall figure whether it be a building, rock face and looking over what is below you. You take a second to breathe it all in, that moment you exhale and open your eyes, that's how living with this decision feels. I'm not saying it's easy, as a matter of fact I'm saying it's hard, at times this life is hard, but you experience things you never thought you would.
I know I reference songs quite a bit, but I feel that songs tend to grasp much of what people are thinking. The Switchfoot song, "Dare You To Move" grasps beautifully what it means to make this decision:

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

Life at times feels like we are just laying in a pile of our own mess, unable to move. So what if I said that there was more to life than that? What if I said that you are worth more than that pile of mess you think you are? I say that because I believe it. You are worth more than you could ever realize, you are loved more than you have ever felt, You are going to do more than you could ever imagine.
The decision that I had to make was the decision to get up out of my mess, and realize that redemption was upon me, that forgiveness was upon me in the form of a Jewish carpenter. A man named Jesus, who being God in flesh decided that I was worth more than mess I thought I was, and took my mess upon himself so that I may experience life through him. Who conquered death and came to me with that same life, telling me,"I dare you to move."

Each day I wake up I have to choose lift myself up off the floor, and make that decision over and over. There are times when that decision is still hard. Each day continually giving up everything I am is hard, but as I said is more rewarding than I ever thought anything I would ever do could be. I'm choosing to be different today than I was yesterday. I'm choosing to say," God, you may not like me today, but I know you love me today, so I'm going to go for it." To me a decision that is easy and comfortable isn't worth making. A decision that involves the ups and downs, the likes and dislikes, the uncomfortables, that difficult times is worth making, it's worth saying yes to. I'm still trying to figure this all out, but I know each day I choose "yes", each day I experience life a little more. It might not always seem logical, or make sense, but I don't want to make any other decision. So yeah, I'm going to keep doing this, all of this.